Friday, April 30, 2010
I ran for 30 mins today without any struggle, wanna know my secret?
Oh well this morning I got on the scales and weighed 69 kilos. oh yes so just gain an imaginary two kilos that never left and 1 real one and you will be fit in no time. success (not)
O and by all means go to the movies with your girlfriends and eat a large popcorn.that will defiantly help.
sorry im so grouchy
I'm a Big FAT Phoney.
Since I started this blog I've lost 2kg. Only two.
I was seriously misinformed by my parents scales this week. I bought new batteries for my scales and im 68kg... sixty-eight.
What makes it worse is that I actually believed I had lost 4. something kilograms. I still look like a fucking WHALE. and even stupider I ate so much crap last night at my boyfriends house because I thought I had "deserved" it. I didn't
I felt like I worked my arse off this week it feels like none of that even matters let alone even happened. Something needs to change.
I really don't like depriving myself of anything that I think I need,I don't want to be that girl who doesnt eat this or that.I want to eat everything, I don't want people to think I'm anal about food, but I think I have to be.
P.s. There is a direct correlation between your followers and the weight you loose. I'm SO uninspiring!!
Sorry for my little vent. Hope your all doing well.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Today when I got home from uni i ate gyoza (japanese dumplings) and some mouthfuls of lamington and apple custurd. I asked Mum why she did this to me..
Then I went to sleep. I was so exhausted and I was still hungry but I could have been alot worse I guess.
I'm actually SO tired despite my 2 hour nap, I still feel so sluggish. I'm going to my boyfriends tonight and I'm looking forward to a sleep-in tomorrow morning. So gym just one tomorrow.
I had a coke zero at uni, no apple.
Someone commited suicide at uni yesterday, people saw. I have my opinions on suicide (in public places) but I think I'll leave them to myself.
Tonight mum is making a roast, I think I'll just have some veggies thanks.
Well off to clean my room and then to the gym.
Thank You so much for supporting me girls. The thought of writing down the embaressing cake incident was enough to make me put the knife down :)
It's not even 7.30 here yet and I've been for my run and had some porridge w/ soy.
after I got home from the gym I went to the toilet and had a shower and I weighed in at 66kg on my parents scale. Its getting pretty exciting now :)
I'm going to weigh myself and my boyfriends house tomorrow morning too (if I can)
This morning was pretty disasterous. O.k maybe not like tsunami or earthquake diasterous but still. I really struggled on the tredmill and I backtracked. I could only do 20 mins, I feel very guilty considering I still eat aalot. When I go back to the gym tonight I'll either do 40 on the cross trainer + 20 on the stepper or 20 on the cross trainer, 20 bike and 20 stepper..
I'm at uni till 2 or 3pm today so I'll take an apple with me and buy a coke zero.
Anyway Keep up the good work everyone, Sorry its such a quick post with no pics I've gotta leave for uni in 1/2 hour and im still in my towel!
Oh and last night, late, I gave in I was soooo hungry but i had to go to sleep to. and you know how sometimes you just need to feed your body a little but to fall asleep, ugh well yer I had a pice of toast with butter and vege so maybe like 150 cal, but its worth it. I hate not sleeping.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
This morning after running for half an hour I weighed in at 66.5 ( I think, still need to get those darn electronic scales fixed) I'm happy but not that happy, this message has been very delayed...rememeber like 2 weeks ago i said " I WILL BE 67 BY NEXT WEEK" huh well i shouldve said in 3 weeks! but yes it's been fluctuating all day between 66.5 and 67.
O.k well this is really gross I've been having a laxitive effect from something other than laxitives and I'm happy about that I feel kinda cleansed.
Today I started and finish an assignment and heres what i ate:
Porridge w/ soy milk (151 + 41= 192)
Peice of bread w/ butter and honey (71 + 37+20=128)
Corn thin with butter and honey (I wanted it with bread but i stopped myself) 23+ 37+20= 80 cal)
Some popcorn made by myself so nothing was added (55 cal)
Cup a soup (100cal)
Small mouthfuls of dads fish concution- not much in it so ill say 100 cal
and almost polished off a 1.25 Lt(4 cal, awesome) bottle of coke zero (woops, study day ok guys...)
= 655 cal :
And I really need to get over my butter and honey addiction.
I don't feel like I ate to much but I think my calories were still quite high today. I had intended to go to the gym tonight as well but uni paper calls. I did go for a 45 min powerwalk this afternoon though..
Fingers crossed I'll make it to the gym twice tomorrow, but I'll have to get up super early because I have to be at uni by 10. Plus, I'll be babysitting in the afternoon, but running after a two year old is bound to burn some cals.
I googled the top 10 models in the world today whilst procrastinating, though i only got the top 3 or so, I'll post some more another day. I also wanted to post some pictures of myself when I was happy. I actually didnt care too much about the way i looked, I was very healthy too. sigh... would you like that? would anyone be able to trace it back to me? I'v been thinking about it and anyone of my friends who find this blog would be just as bad as me because they were looking for it, right?
fuckfuckfuck fuck im fucked...
on the bright side, my boyfriend and I made up... until our next fight that is...
Defianlty going to have an amazing day tomorrow...
gym study study maybe a walk study study study gym sleep
Please give me strength to starve. Thanks.
I'll probably send your dashboards into overdrive tomorrow procrastinating food and study.
P.s I like that i tell you guys how much im eating, Im sorry im not very thinspiring. Hopefully sooon i will be...
Saturday, April 24, 2010
B: 2 pieces of toast w/ marg/vegemite
l: mandarin
s: 2x soy chai latte + some popcorn
heres the bad part
For dinner I went out for chinese food with my family. I didnt feel full which was the bad part but at least it was mainly rice, veggies and lean meat but i think I till ate quite a bit. Afterward i went to my boyfriends house and we had some candy whilst i did an online accounting test for my course. I feeling pretty guilty. Some of you girls have had or blogs alot less than i have but youve lost alot more weight!!At least I went to the gym and ran for 1/2 hr but still I should have done more.
Before dinner, I went to the movies with my family we saw "Coco Chanel and Igor Stravansky". I love the 1920's, and the way Chanel wore those beautiful clothes amazed me, they hung off her so gracefully and whilst Anna Mouglalis was probably too skinny she didn't look it at all she just looked so beautiful. Mum and I spoke about it afterwards and unforunately no matter how skinny we were/ are they would never look like that on us...
Today I'm at work, I had alot of toast for breakfast this morning, I should feel guilt but I don't I need to feel guilty!!. Ive had 2 chocolate biscuits too! god damn... I won't eat for the rest of the day, but I think I'll have a tiny bit of smoothie for energy (If i need it) before I go the the gym. Then of course, Ill have to eat dinner with my boyfriends family (hopefully its not too bad. And then I'll start again tomorrow. Gosh, I really need more restraint :(
Friday, April 23, 2010
I can't work out how to do headings to larger font will do for now..
I didn't post yesterday cause i had an assignment to do at my boyfriends house, and I'm not about to tell him all about this haha
Anyway i didnt eat until after i handed in my assignment and he had one to hand in too and we were STARVING.. Anyway, he wanted to get take away and i was so bloody hungry i 'forgot' all about my diet. I won't tell you what i ate because it will probably make you feel sick, though it could have been a lot worse, I was full but not painfully full- but that doesnt make up for all the excess calories. This morning I braved up and weighed myself and i was sure I'd at least be 69, but squinting at the scales again, it was defianlty under 68! I'm not going to get my hopes up too much but it still made me feel good.
Yesterday I found out my brother got engaged so now I really have to loose weight for all the pretty dresses for engagement parties and the wedding etc.. even though there probabaly a while away. I'm going to head off to the gym now for some running and hoepfully more.. but probabaly not. Sorry its such a lacking post I'm in a bit of a rush today. Hopefully I'll have more to talk about tomorrow + some thinspo.
Hope you all doing well :)
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
EDIT: I had some chocolate im sorry to let you all down but i did stick to my cup a soup so lets add another 180 cal to the day..it was only a little bit i promise...
I went to the gym and spent 20 mins on the stepper and 30 on the cross trainer so i feel a little bit better about my day.
I bought some new jeans today, dont ask me why.... they were on sale in sass and bide. I have the biggest addiction to clothes i cant go a week without buying one item for my wardrobe, despite they hopefully wont fit me in a month, should have gotten a size smaller..
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
No more excuses
So today I was meant to weigh in at 67.0.... I weighed 69.0!!
What the fuck
I've been working my arse off, admitidley I'm not as strong as most of you with your fasting and what not, but ive been to gym 6/7 days running 3km everyday + crosstraining, skipping, stepper etc, yes ok sometimes less but always 3km on that darn tredmill... HELP!
I blame my boyfriend...before the weekend i weighed in at 67.7. But I deffiantly have to take most of the blame. that packet of shapes (savoury flavoured biscuits for you non Australians) did not open and leap into my hand to then continue to be eaten by me all by themselves.. Though if it wernt for him I would not have even been tempted by these naughty biscuits. AND I ate SOO much bread like up 4 peices of toast every night after eating not much during the day...
I mean it girls, no more bread. bread causes more damage that its worth. and fucking shapes are ruining my shape? hmm excuse the pun
I know exactly what I did wrong this weekend and this week its changing:
- exercise twice a day for as many days as i can.
- exercise every day.
- only vegetables/soup and fruit after 12pm ( for as many meals as i can, most of you know how hard it is around friends/ boyfriends)
This has to make me shed a few right?
I took some pics of my less that fab abs and fat arse and thigh's hopefully this will be good REVERSE THINSPO for everyone. Please appreciate that this took alot of courage. ALOT
Please no sympathy, but if you have any TIPS on how to shrink those mammoth things called my legs please tell me... and please make my stomach flat. I'll post some more pics in a week or 2 weeks time and hopefully i shall have shrunk! Thanks.....
What I'am...
What I want to be...
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
- Calimari salad (you think that would be enough but no)
- Soy chai latte AND'
fucking chocolate mousse cake. ok it was just one slice and shared between 3 of us but still. I have no control around my friends, i get happy and laugh and talk and i forget that i fucking hate THIS. I did however make a conscience effort to drink HEAPS of water so it came up easily enough...
I'm so proud of you all. You've all had SO much success this week... keep it up!! I will be good this weekend. I promise
love (WANNABE) Skinny Minnie
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
This morning I weight 67.9. I don't usually count this as a loss because it was probabaly just all water weight. But I was pretty damn excited.. It's going to be a good week..
It's good to know sometimes that I'm good at something (well not good yet, but I will be). I've never been musical, sporty, smart or creativeand it's never bothered me until this year. (Cue Violins) I often cry about how much I feel that my life so far has been a failure. Everyone in my family ( bar my brother with psychological problems) are sucesses. My dad's a doctor, Mum's a teacher, my eldest brothers are scientist, engineer's and the last one has a business degree and got a promotion to work overseas. I can't even finish an assignent without the help of my Mother, boyfriend etc. I know Im whining, i mean i live in the best city in a great country, i went to a fantastic school and i go to university (not a great one but i still go) that makes me even sadder sometimes that I've had all these great oppurtunies and I havnt used them and most people have it a lot worse of that me. So I'm sorry to unload all of my baggage and i know i sound like a spoilt little brat but sometimes it helps to talk.
The thing that upsets me the most is my friendships. I was friends with everyone in high school and now thats over i seem to have drifted whilst they all still hang out...I mean i try to make it work but theyre not interested. I wonder if they think about me, they probabaly don't.
I cant stand my bestfriend more often than not ( I suppose I sound a bit like her tonight)
So i hope to God i dont fail at this too..
Once again im sorry you can totally skip that whole part, in fact if you decide to write me a comment dont mention it.
Breakfast: Porridge (150cal) + Green Tea (2 cal)
Lunch: Cup a soup (100 cal), Peanut butter on white bread (140)
Snacks: Vitaweats (87 cal), Hot chocolate (63 cal)
= 542 cal, eep looks like I'am failing
Dinner: Tuna caserole, boiled egg, peas (?? alot??)
Execise:
Walking (127)
I canned the gym tonight, Ive got a test to study for tomorrow, why am i always leaving things to the last minuet? My day was pretty heavy food wise I guess i can say goodbye to 67.9...
I know most of you dont advise to use laxitives but if you need to speed up the "process" would you recommend them?
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